A Presentation By Me
I'm looking for a real partner, not a placeholder. I'm looking for someone kind, curious, and a little bit playful — someone who's good to their friends, endlessly nosy about the world, and can go from a deep chat to total nonsense without so much as a change of gear. The same as me.
If that's you, hi. I've been looking for you.
Peer-reviewed by: my friends, who assure me this is normal.
The Problem
That's the whole pitch. Anything more elaborate would've needed a permit.
The Solution
Kind, curious, and playful — now shipping with caring included.
The Team
Currently a team of one. Notably under-resourced in the hand-holding department.
No experience necessary. Enthusiasm essential.
Social Proof
"Feminist-approved. Recommended for women with bad backs from always carrying the conversation on dates. Chris has guaranteed great chat."
— Fourteen Years Of Direct Evidence"As you can tell by this presentation, Chris doesn't do anything half-assed."
— Unofficial Cinematographer"You're practically Mary Poppins!"
— Some Girl"Comes with curiosity which leads to endless enthusiasm, endless hobbies, and enough stories for a lifetime."
— Some Guy"Never a dull moment. Adventure awaits. Able to be deeply caring."
— Not His Mother"What a pitch! Can I buy in for $25M?"
— A Uni Mate, Now Loaded (apparently)"One of the very few men that my young kids have warmed up to."
— A Friend Whose Kids Have Standards"This needs a face-to-face meeting."
— Someone Who Was ThereFAQ
You will, once you see the wonky little mugs. Everyone does.
It's a forecasting advantage. You're welcome in advance.
Ambivert. I contain both cities and mountains, both the crowd and the quiet, like a very small tardis that occasionally needs a nap. Some days I am the party. Some days I am upstairs somewhere, alone, discussing architecture with a candle.
Yes. Both. Bring layers.
Sydney Metro, in a past life. Currently elbow-deep in the energy transition, arguing with a transformer that I'm fairly sure argues back. Ask me about system strength at your own risk.
I am, by several metrics, still working on the swimming thing.
Ask them. I'll wait.
Immeasurable. Several appraisers entered the tent. Only one came out, and he just kept saying "the number" over and over before wandering off into the hills, changed.
Define normal. You're the one still reading.
Bottom of the page. There's a button. It pulses like it's got a small heartbeat. The cat's sitting on it, actually, just looking at you. Move her gently. Press the button. Don't overthink it — it's already been expecting you since Tuesday.
The Demo
Photos only tell you so much — mostly that I own clothes. Here are a few clips of me actually moving through the world, filmed by friends and family.
Unscripted. Unstaged. Five days a week I'm staring at a screen trying to fix the grid. This is what happens the other two.
The Credentials
Before the energy transition, it was hard hats and Sydney Metro.
Yes, that's a real hi-vis vest. No, it's not a costume — the costume department wanted far more sequins.
Field Notes
The "city energy" half of the pitch, verified in the field. (Kitchen dance parties verified separately, at home.)
Type 2 fun, occasionally type 1. Either way, I show up.
Act Fast
Spots limited to exactly one (1) co-founder. Act now before someone else notices how great this is.
Serious applicants only. Silly applicants also only.
Batteries not included. Neither is a filter. Warranty void during naps (frequent).
Submit Your Application
If you like what you see, that's great. But if you're not into it, no hard feelings — your guy is out there, so go get 'em, tiger.